Sonnet 2

Chill and damp
An empty space.
Forced to camp
In this poor place.

Sluggishly pitch and heavily stake
Thinking safety’s in stability.
By this, a prison make
Mistaking trap for tranquility.

Guard it fiercely from fire, flood.
Cling to the known.
Sink in the mud.
Encrusted, moan.

Understand, underneath, what’s here.
Misplace the knowledge; find only fear.

 

 

 

(c) 2016 the blog’s writer.  All rights reserved.

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Eminence

You are not far.
You cannot be.
You are a star,
Your light drenching me.

I sleep through day, and wake all night
Not to lose an instant of being enthralled
By your pure, enveloping white.
Eminence, this star is called.

Ages upon ages separate star from ground;
Untold stretches of nothing.  Everything.
How then is always found
Warmth enough to make man sing?

Eminence, perfect energy from you proceeds
So strongly that, alone, it fulfills man’s needs.

 

 

(c) 2016, by the blog’s writer.  All rights reserved.

 

AUGH! RIGHT IN THE GUT!

Found out something somewhat gut-wrenching, but I am getting myself through it, and not letting panic of despair win out. It only had a hold of me for a half an hour, or so, and now it’s been subdued and is gradually petering out.

I’m getting good at managing my mood. 🙂  It’s still a good day, it just had a very difficult spot.  I made it through, though.

I had a great day yesterday :)

That’s all. Saw my therapist. Kept up with my novenas (9x/day, and the most important one I haven’t missed a single day since March 2). Went to mass, and said the rosary, as I’ve chosen to do every day in May, which is the month of devotion to Mary. Went to confession, and passed through the Holy Door at the Cathedral obtaining a plenary indulgence, which I offered up for a soul in Purgatory. I’m invoking the souls in Purgatory as intercessors, so I am making a concerted effort to pray for, and aid them in gratitude for their aid to me. (That’s all super-duper Catholic stuff, if you have no idea what I’m talking about)

I had some extra time downtown, so I walked around in a nice garden while saying my novena prayers. That was quite lovely. Played a couple of games of ultimate, and now (at 11:30 at night) I’m going to fry a couple of slices of pork and make them into a sandwich, and watch some Netflix.

My mood is becoming quite consistent and stable, and right now it’s a pretty even 8/10 day after day. I’ve got things clicking. The day before yesterday was hard, but it ended up being an 8 on the whole, because I realized when I was having a rough time that what I needed to do was manage my mood, and take care of myself. Then I did it! So I ended up having an overall good day on Wednesday. And another yesterday (Thursday).

Things are looking up. I’m even feeling hopeful about the near impossible things I’m praying for right now – my past experience has shown me prayer is incredibly powerful, and as I’ve been praying about this the changes I have to make in order to have a shot at this have started happening, and I keep getting little signs of progress in the last 3 days of each novena. They work, I’m telling you. But that isn’t really the point of the post. The point is I’m taking care of myself, and I’m getting better. I know I’ll have bad stretches again, but overall a lot of good changes are happening that are pretty permanent. They’ll make the rough times easier, and the good times great.

I’m pullin’ for ya. We’re all in this together.