I’ve spent the last hour telling myself it’s not okay to text you “I’m sick and I need you.”
I’m sick and I really need you tonight. I wish I wasn’t too sick for you. I’m sorry.
So sad. I don’t want to talk. I just want someone to be near me. The only one I could ever trust to be that person is gone, and that’s the reason I feel this way. This is going to be how it is from now on. Alone.
Let me show you!
Really. Can we do something other than the list of all the things not to do if you want to save your marriage? Because, except for the terrible therapist (the more I think about it the more I realize he was just awful at his job. Truly terrible.) all we’ve done is things all the experts say make it worse, and lead to failure.
Let’s try … Really try. For real. Come on. Let’s fucking try!
Today my depression is really bad in all the old ways. Hopefully it’s just today.
I’m sorry for the times I wouldn’t listen to your perspective, and especially the times I just shut you down immediately, as though only my opinion mattered. I’ve realized that, because I do that, it’s completely rational that you would assume I wasn’t open to what you had to say. It was my fault that you didn’t feel safe expressing things that are important to you. So, as much as it frustrated me and I found it hurtful that you would assume I wasn’t going to listen, I realise now that I am guilty of creating that environment of disrespect and contempt.
I’m sorry, and I want to change. I don’t want to treat you dismissively, or belittle you anymore.
The Doctor is a woman! I’m imagining how you would react to the news. I’m devastated not to be able to share in it. I haven’t been able to watch it since you left, so I won’t be too affected, I guess.
I hope they do a great job of writing and portraying her. I hope it’s every bit as brilliant as you hope.