I never knew you but I miss you, and I love you. This day is always hard, ever since I thawed my heart.
Come home because there are four lights.
I thought I was doing better. I thought things were okay. I thought I was handling life. But I’m not. I’m going to Mass in a bit and I want nothing more than to go to confession, receive the Eucharist, and die as the final blessing is given. I don’t want to live in this valley of tears anymore. I want to go home.
The more I read this article, the more I saw that the causes are in the rejection of Christ, and the Church’s teachings on sex and on the human person. If we can define what is a person, and what is a person’s worth, we can define what women are. If sex is separated from marriage and from procreation, it becomes little more than a leisure activity. The partner becomes a means for pleasure. When we make sex, and the attainment of sex the centre of life, and we see it as necessary to happiness, obtaining it at increasingly dire costs seems increasingly rational. If sex is necessary to one’s happiness, and if the purpose of one’s life is to pursue whatever makes him happiest, then it is easy to come to the logical conclusion that it is rational to mistreat others in order to attain that happiness, and therefore it is rational to mistreat others to obtain sex. If we make pleasing others, and meeting the expectation of society necessities of happiness, and again if attaining maximal happiness is the purpose of one’s life, it appears rational to subject oneself to suffering in order to meet those expectations – as the author directly states.
Using others to increase our supposed happiness is acceptable in our society. It is even celebrated. It is obvious in the acquisition of wealth, and the attaining if power and and honour, which we define almost as universally as ingredients of happiness. We define total personal liberty as just as necessary to happiness as constant sexual satisfaction. If those two things are necessary to happiness, and happiness is the point of life, it appears rational to allow another to suffer for the sake of fulfilling our own purpose in life. If the other’s attainment of happiness is in conflict with mine, either my fulfillment or the other’s fulfillment must be compromised. If one must suffer while the other is fulfilled, then what reason is there to elect to be the sufferer? What answer is there to this conflict, but subjugating some by training them that their fulfillment is in the suffering needed by the other? If the value and nature of the human person is ours to define, why can’t we? And what we establish is a twisted counterpart to the natural complementarity of men and women. It is analogous to God’s design, but warped in a way that celebrates sin, and denies both men and women of the dignity proper to the human person. This is the hallmark of a demonic design. This is the Devil.
Let us examine how this heresy, this evil is corrected when we accept and follow the Church’s teachings on marriage, sex, and the human person. Sex should exist only within marriage. Marriage is a mutual total gift of self, wife to husband, and husband to wife. Marriage is permanent and indissoluble. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loves His Church – like Christ who was tortured, crucified, and died for His Church. Husbands are commanded to provide for and protect their wives and children. All of this is required of a man who marries, and sex is reserved for marriage. A man must accept the fullness of his responsibilities in marriage BEFORE it is proper for him to receive the gift of sexual intimacy. What is more, marriage is the means by which the spouses participate in the communal life of the Trinity. Marriage is the means by which the spouses are sanctified. That sex must not be separated from marriage, that it is not merely allowed within marriage but is a part of the completion of the sacrament of Matrimony itself, that it is a PART OF marriage means that it is and must only be a part of the ongoing sanctification of both spouses. Because sex is part of the supernatural vocation of marriage, it must be a part of each spouse’s path to sainthood. Every sexual act with one’s spouse must bring one closer to becoming a saint. How can it do this if one’s intention is to do anything other than uphold and defend the dignity of the human person, the person of one’s spouse? So a husband, for his own sanctification, must always protect his wife’s dignity; he must always strive to see his wife as God sees her. All of this must be accepted, and assented to by freely entering into a sacramental marriage, and only then may a Christian man enter into the gift of his sexuality.
Sex must be holy. Only what upholds the dignity of the human person can be holy. Sex must uphold the dignity of the human person.
nuts and bolts of life ~ though rusted to dysfunction ~ still binding as one — © Lize Bard @ Haiku out of Africa