Keeping Going: It’s F@#king Hard!

So overall I’m doing … even with the stuff I keep specifically complaining about, this is the best winter I can remember.  It’s half way through January, and I only have bad days when something actually causes them.  Even then, it’s few and far between.  I’m in a momentum slump since Thursday, but I’m kicking my ass out of it today.  Going to do a bunch of the stuff on my list.

Then there’s the big long conflict dealie I keep writing about.  It’s going really slowly.  I mean, that’s an improvement, because it had actually been getting steadily worse for over two months.  So I can see it’s moving in the right direction now.  Still, it’s just been going on so long, and it’s been such a strain, that I a feel like I’ll collapse under it.  (Collapsing would look like just giving up, and letting it go entirely, not hurting myself, or spending a month in bed – see best winter ever!)   Eventually I will collapse, unless the process accelerates.  At the current rate, I just don’t have the stamina to get to the end.  I want to.  I want to make it to the end, and resolve the situation.  It’s the most important thing in my life right now.  I just know it has to move faster.

The ship is held together with scotch tape right now, and the tape will only last so long.  We’re not welding fast enough.  I canno’ hold ‘er tagether like this for very much longer, cap’n!

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