My wife, who is my family, deserves protection from every threat, and every evil in the world. She deserves to be so confident in her safety that fear and worry become foreign. I have only so much power to protect her, and it is not enough to give her what she deserves. There is only one thing I can do.
I kneel humbly before the One who can protect her as she deserves, and beseech His help in the duty He has assigned me. I entrust to Him the one dearest to me. I strive always to stay in His grace first for love of Him, second in service of those in my care, and third for myself. I entrust to Him and give to Him, all that is most precious to me. This is peace. This is freedom.
Beloved one, should you read this tonight, know that not only does your Guardian Angel walk astride you, but on this great Feast of the Archangels, St Gabriel reveals in my heart that St Michael has issued a command that St Raphael proceeds as your companion and guide. Trust him as Tobias did.
My love, my wife, you shall never be without my protection, for I have sought and received from the King of Kings His protection, and He sends a mighty angel as our patron.
St Micheal, protect us.
St Gabriel, speak to us God’s ways.
St Raphael, be our guide, our companion and our protector.
May the Lord richly bless you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Thanks be to God!
I’m so tired of looking in the mirror, and saying “I want to die.”
How good you are at floofing sheets and blankets onto the bed.
I loved watching you put it together, and I loved how great and real you looked when it was done, and I loved how satisfied you were with it. It was way better than anything I’d have had in mind and I genuine liked it more than anything I’d have come up with.
When I criticised it weeks or months later or whatever it was, I was definitely in a headspace of objectifying you, and I have purged this perspectives.
The night of, when you put that costume together, I loved it. I really loved it. I saw you as a woman that night. Whole. Complex. Deep. Rich. Later on when I complained ages later it was my narrow, selfish addiction-driven self, that hated the version of me that appreciated you for everything you are. The man that loves all of you, he was a threat to the man that wanted to feed his addiction. That’s why the evil man wanted to destroy the good man in your eyes. The evil will, wanted to convince you that the man of good will was a lie.
The man of malevolent selfishness no longer reigns. I stop short of claiming that the malevolent man is destroyed, because such a conclusion lends itself to complacency. Never shall I accept complacency toward the potential for evil to take root in my heart. No: constant vigilance! Because, as is written, I must be sober and watch; because my adversary the Devil, as a roaring lion, goes about seeking whom he may devour. Him indeed shall I resist.
Evil shall never again take up root in my heart as once it did. I say to you now, let it likewise be banished from yours. Expel it and return to the Lord!
I’ll never have a family.
I’ll never cuddle on the couch again.
I’ll never make her smile again.
I’ll never make her laugh again.
I’ll never get to show her how I’ve changed.
I don’t want to live. I have to, but I don’t want to. I really don’t want to. God, take me now. I want to go home.